Relationship advice: Linguistically submissive
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
Give the right impression?
An iron hand in a velvet glove
Communication, consent and connection
Women need to know when NOT to do as they're told!
The dance of consent
I myself have went through the same thing. I would work 6 days a week and finally when I have a day off, my wife would sit and read a book instead of spending TLC time with me. Finally that situation lead to the end of our marriage. I was dumb founded. It turns out that the reason that she would always read a book and become distant from me is because she did not know how to talk to me any more. Which later turned into not loving me. I feel that if I tried harder, and tried more often to take her out of her routine (dinner, movie, etc...) things might have turned out better for us. I would take this as a sign that communication is lacking in your relationship. Try doing something to respark the flame that may be missing. If this does not work, at least you had a night that was completely about satisfying each others needs and passions.
Much of what a woman finds attractive in a Taken In Hand relationship is attention. I did not realize this myself until well into the process. My husband works very long hours in the corporate world, and in years past, I would have kept my loneliness to myself. Now I find that I am much more apt to say, “I'm not getting enough attention!” And my husband knows that ‘negative’ attention (i.e., a spanking) is, as far as I am concerned, better than no attention.
This is not a threat on my part, but a willingness to be childlike and vulnerable. He is very apt under these circumstances to make more of an effort to give me ‘positive’ attention. Often, at my request, that positive attention might include a light spanking, but not the harsher ‘punishment’ that might result if my needs were not met and I subsequently began to act out in ways we've agreed are unhealthy for me.
Being able to be open and honest about my feelings is one of the greatest gifts of being in this kind of relationship.
My husband's calm control makes me feel submissive
Give the right impression?
An iron hand in a velvet glove
Communication, consent and connection
Women need to know when NOT to do as they're told!
The dance of consent
I myself have went through the same thing. I would work 6 days a week and finally when I have a day off, my wife would sit and read a book instead of spending TLC time with me. Finally that situation lead to the end of our marriage. I was dumb founded. It turns out that the reason that she would always read a book and become distant from me is because she did not know how to talk to me any more. Which later turned into not loving me. I feel that if I tried harder, and tried more often to take her out of her routine (dinner, movie, etc...) things might have turned out better for us. I would take this as a sign that communication is lacking in your relationship. Try doing something to respark the flame that may be missing. If this does not work, at least you had a night that was completely about satisfying each others needs and passions.
Much of what a woman finds attractive in a Taken In Hand relationship is attention. I did not realize this myself until well into the process. My husband works very long hours in the corporate world, and in years past, I would have kept my loneliness to myself. Now I find that I am much more apt to say, “I'm not getting enough attention!” And my husband knows that ‘negative’ attention (i.e., a spanking) is, as far as I am concerned, better than no attention.
This is not a threat on my part, but a willingness to be childlike and vulnerable. He is very apt under these circumstances to make more of an effort to give me ‘positive’ attention. Often, at my request, that positive attention might include a light spanking, but not the harsher ‘punishment’ that might result if my needs were not met and I subsequently began to act out in ways we've agreed are unhealthy for me.
Being able to be open and honest about my feelings is one of the greatest gifts of being in this kind of relationship.